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Vesh the Stamper
|image = |caption = The most pacifist cat in space. |fullname = Vesh the Stamper |alias = The humanoid tycoon N00bstomper, Level 78 Paladin Activision Blizzard's Bane |age = High in cat years |species = Cat Light Bulb |homeplanet = Gunsmonk |hair = Mohawk |eyes = Can see in the dark |height = Lanky |weight = Lanky |affiliation = Outaw Bebop Camel B&Q Lamp Isle MMOs Any Bakery |profession = Businessman Space Hoodlum Professional Gold Farmer |weapons = Angle Arm Donut Shurikens Cowardice }} Vesh the Stamper is one of the three protagonists in the When Spik Met Vesh series. A donut-loving pacifist, he joins Spik Speegal on a quest to take Gen Stronkwind down a peg, and later tags along because nobody remembers to take him home. Biography Vesh is a plant, born from the unholy union between an alley cat and a halogen light bulb. He grew up alone on the mean streets of Planet Gunsmonk with his twin Melons Knivs, who grew to hate humanity because they kept taking his lunch money. While Knivs later went on to become an anti-human douchebag who ironically had a team composed entirely of humans, Vesh went on to become a gluttonous pervert, and also a wuss who, despite owning a gun license, refused to bust a cap in anything. After stopping Knivs by collecting a small sum of money, Vesh went on to ride camels around aimlessly, followed by Miryl and Melly whose brains had literally combusted in the desert heat, until, of course, the story begins... Characteristics Appearance Vesh is a tall cat with a blonde mohawk, features that are apparently easy for tax collectors to make mistakes about, making Vesh the world's most powerful tax evader. He wears a long red trenchcoat, which is made of paper mache, under which he hides his infinite supply of donuts and his water pistol. He also probably hides his cat tail under it, nobody knows. Personality Vesh is fun loving, though he does take certain situations seriously, such as his VCR being stolen by Catholics. He is extremely flirtatious, spending most of his hard earned space-bucks on citrus products he uses to woo fellow cat Esha CTRC Neanderthal, though his efforts are often successful, to everyone's surprise. His kinks include scrabble and volleyball, preferences he shares with Ein Gatsby, who is, ironically, a dog. Abilities Vesh is at level cap in at least seventeen different MMOs, making him have the highest cumulative DPS. The bills of these take up at least half of the Outlaw Bebop Camel's income, however, they keep him around because in the event of a food shortage only Esha would feel bad about eating him because he is a cat and not a person. Vesh has incredible aim with guns, especially water guns, his weapon of choice. He can incapacitate enemies with the water gun by pointing it at them and saying 'lol ur ded.' His other weapons are his donuts, which he is capable of throwing with near lethal force, however, he often doesn't because he would rather eat them. Vesh also has a hidden power- if he carries enough coins, he can nullify super powers. Some speculate this means he is distantly related to super Mario. Trivia *Vesh's favourite donuts are fish flavoured. *Vesh is in the top ranked raiding guild on Gunsmonk, this is because Gunsmonk does not have internet. *Vesh developed a fear of camels after hearing them called 'Ships of the Dessert' and watching 'Titanic the Legendary Ship 2' because in the movie a camel stole all the profiteroles. Gallery FIGHTENDER.jpg Category:Characters Category:Outlaw Bebop Camel Gang Category:Tirgun